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Now there’s an irony that would make Lord Nelson blanch. (Please don't bother looking that up. You're reading a fucking story, for crissakes.)Anyway, it was nearing Christmas the first time I ate at Bernie's. Handfuls of cheap-ass tinsel clung to the windows and strings of ancient, multi-colored Christmas bulbs were strewn along the dark wood and low ceilings as if they had been tossed about by a delinquent ten year old. The place felt cramped, dingy and cold. Maybe that's how it really feels in an English pub, but I had a feeling the English did 'old' way better than Nguyen was doing it here. So, why did I ever stop there? Maybe I just love English food. Yeah, and fuck you, too. I heard that. As it happens, I DO love English food. If you don't, it's only because it's reputation has been soiled by a French conspiracy. (See what I did there?)Anyway, back to the Bangers. (You didn't really think I'd put the word 'banger' in a story without actually yanking hard on that obvious an. “Yessss let us get some human pussy to eat. I can sense, taste and smell some fresh human flesh stinking of denied arousal and blind loyalty.”The captain alien vampire seductively struts over to her 1st mate, bends slightly at the waist and kisses her sister biting her lips, her pointed tail swishes around in the air before seeking out her 1st mate’s identical devil looking tail coiling and intertwining them both.The 2 vampire aliens had traversed the great void of space mostly hibernating and sometimes feeding from each other to keep their strength up.“I cannot stand it any longer!” Proclaims the subordinate alien vampire, “Fuck me sister.”With that the 2 sister fly up into the air in a kind of forbidden mating ritual, their bat like wings whipping the centuries stale air of the cockpit around as they hold each other in sexual congress, the redhead biting into her sister neck puncturing her neck wit her fangs nearly draining her sister of all life force before she uses her agile.
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