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I wish that they were. The memories I have of finding Papa all by myself, those memories are true. And, that was when Lilith first spoke to me. She stroked my hair and sang to me. She told me that she would protect me, keep me safe. She promised that no one would ever be able to hurt me again. She kept that promise, Erik. The only thing that she neglected to tell me was that in order that no one hurt me again, no one would ever love me again. That was the trade. I could not allow anyone to become close to me. I remember when Madame would try to hold me and comfort me, but I would not allow it. I would allow Lilith to step into me and take over. She told me that she needed to do things to make certain that people would not be able to hurt me."At first, she spoke to me, but all too soon, she simply took over and I no longer remembered when she was in control. Part of me knew that I did not remember things like other people. That sometimes I would be lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Her firstGG type girlfriend in TWO years. Either would be tough; incombination they present difficulty of the greatest magnitude.The new GG girlfriend appeals strongly to the subject's malepersona and additionally provides a powerful tool to the gurl tofurther resist femming (fear of loss of a relationship as thenew girlfriend apparently doesn't know). In addition (and theauthor does not mean to be unkind here) strange as it may seem,your "coming on" to the gurl was probably the worst thing youcould have done. YOU are a GG and all the suggestive overturesdid was reinforce in the gurl's mind that women find herattractive in boy mode!! (If you look down you can see thebullet hole in your shoe. ) The fact that a customarymale/female relationship surfaces after a two-year break (theauthor was therefore correct in initially assuming there was nowife/SO present) means this gurl is going to bend every effortto NOT jeopardize it in ANY way. (Proof here is that while shewas aroused by your.
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