It’s a kind of oceanic state that I’m in during these sessions; I give up all boundaries, opinions, ego, initiative, choice, and desires. I feel the contented sense of belonging that I imagine a dog must feel, following so closely its master’s every cue, spoken and unspoken, that there is never a moment’s indecision, never a gap in which you must make a choice, in which you must decide what to do next. These decisions have already been made for you. You only have to follow them unthinkingly, as if your body were a puppet dancing in a show where you, too, are part of the audience. You are being directed from above. You are part of something larger than yourself, a will stronger, more resolute and decisive than your own. You aren't responsible for what you do, no matter how depraved or disgusting. This is the deeper, more satisfying significance of bondage; the ropes and chains, the gags and blindfolds are only the outward symbols of a paradoxical liberation.It’s a relief before its an. I gently wash every nook and cranny of her body. When I finish, Skyler does the same to me.I stand and take Skyler by the hand, helping her up. Stepping out of the tub, I grab two nearby towels and we dry one another off. Walking hand in hand to the bedroom, we lie down on the bed. The rest of the morning and into the late afternoon is spent making love in every conceivable position.When it is time for me to leave, Skyler walks me to the back door and hands me an envelope.“Think of this as a bonus for the great job you do mowing the lawn and trimming the bushes.”Putting her finger to my lips before I can say anything Skyler gives me a kiss on my cheek and says, “We’ll do this again next week, when you mow the lawn.”“Thank you, Skyler.”“No, Kris, thank you.”I turn to leave and Skyler gives me a playful slap on my ass.Back home, I open the envelope and find a one hundred dollar bill along with the forty dollars that I normally get when I do her yard work. Epilogue: When the summer came.
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