"But what about afterwards? Would you at least consider staying, joining a very few selected guests then?" I don't know. Let me think about that," I said smiling back, already confident I would decline that invitation as well. Once again she smiled, and once again appeared to be reasonably certain I wouldn't."Well if you decide you'd like to, or change your mind about joining me, just let one of the boys in the blue sports coats know. They'll get word to me, and then give you a pass to remain afterwards." Feeling like I had been excused, I stood, though she immediately grabbed, holding my hand. "I do hope you'll at least stay for the party. And in the meantime, enjoy the performance. I think you'll find it ... wickedly entertaining." I'm sure I will," I responded back to her. "Brian couldn't quit talking about it after he'd seen you last week," I informed her. She then turned looking over in their direction again. She smiled at them and then said something to one of the guys wearing. I don’t think you’re fooling anyone, except perhaps yourself.”“Well, that makes it fucking unanimous,” I sighed. “I guess I’m so afraid of getting hurt again that I’ve done what Karin accused me of doing - closing and locking my heart to prevent anyone from getting in.”“Is THAT why you’re keeping me at arm’s length, Steve Adams? Because you’re afraid you’ll get hurt?”“I guess that’s true,” I said quietly. “Certainly the people who know me best think so.”“But what do you think? What the rest of us think doesn’t matter a whole lot.”“I don’t know what to think. I’m confused as hell. The solution I see is so counter-intuitive, as you said, that I’m not sure I can really wrap my head around it. It just doesn’t make sense that avoiding suffering causes more suffering.”“Years ago we talked about your problem with trying to avoid hurting people. Remember what caused that?”I nodded, “Yes. By trying to avoid hurting you, I hurt you worse than if I’d just been straight with you from the.
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