Since I’ve never heard of you, I assume this is a special case, beyond who the victim was.”Walter was an older gentleman, clearly familiar with the gritty aspects of murder, but still removed from the dirty underside of humanity most cops faced on a daily basis. He had short white hair and, like the other two detectives, wore civilian attire. His eyes bore wrinkle lines from squinting too much, though he had large wire-rim glasses perched on his nose. As he finished speaking, a nervous young woman descended the stairs, stepping carefully to avoid contaminating the scene.The two detectives approached and Walter handed them protective booties and gloves, which they donned like the others already had. “I’m glad I have you all together so I only have to explain this once. I assume you trust your team?”Walter arched his brow, looking them up and down. “More than either of you at the moment. I realize the commissioner wanted you in charge, and I’m sure he had his reasons, but these people. A blonde buys a chainsaw to cut down some trees in her backyard and gets the one that says “Guaranteed to cut down 100 trees a day” on the box. “Great” she thinks “I only want to cut down 5 trees, but I bet this one will get the job done in no time at all!”Three days later returns to the shop dirty and sweaty and says: “I am sorry, but this is very misleading advertising! It says I can cut down 100 trees in a week and it took me 3 days to cut down just one! Something is clearly not right!” The shop attendant says: “Alright, let’s see if we can figure out what the problem is”, yanks the cord and starts the motor.The blonde says: “What is that sound?”Michael is sitting in a chair at his barbershop. Worried about his receding hairline, he confides in his barber about what he could possibly do to fix the problem. Hearing his case, the patron in the chair beside Michael leans over and whispers to him “I couldn’t help but overhear your problem. I’ve found that pussy juice always works for.
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