Josh said, “Let me change the subject because I don’t know if I should thank you or what.”“What do you mean?”“Remember before you left you volunteered me to fix Pam’s plumbing problem?”“Seems to me I didn’t need to twist your arm to do it.”“No I guess you could say I had the hots for her because her red hair and that sexy look she has along with that good-looking body she constantly is advertising in those skintight clothes she wears. Well I did fix the leak which was a ten minute job but I told her I needed to wait a few hours before I turned the water back on for the silicone to setup. During that wait time Pam who gave me a drink and had changed into some very casual clothes amply rewarded me for doing this fix, if you know what I mean.”“When I was down south in a short time I wasn’t feeling that well so I saw a Doctor. He did a blood and urine test and based on the result he put me on antibiotics because of something I caught. Since it was only Pam that I was with it must have. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."5. The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with.
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