I was in the process of figuring out which would be easier: Calling someone to come and fetch me at eleven-thirty Saturday night; or walking four miles home. It was at this point I became aware of Cindy.She had evidently been partying with some girl friends in the next saloon and had come into the one I was in when those girl friends had bugged out for somewhere else. Unlike me, Cindy had had more than one beer. We exchanged pleasantries and then she asked me "Did you know I'm getting married in two weeks?" I had known she was getting married, but didn't know the exact date; I hadn't been invited. Which I supposed, was understandable. I wasn't offended. We talked a bit more and somewhere along the way I told her I had been left behind. "I could give you a ride home", she offered, and that seemed like the best offer I was likely to get.We got into her car and away we went. Cindy was more or less in control of her car, but I wasn't feeling too safe. We made it the four miles to my. Clark told me that in order to move on. I had to come to terms with what had happened that day and then go through therapy to deal with my feelings about the incident before they'd let me go back to work. We decided that my mind was probably refusing to allow me to remember it because it was extremely traumatic.We decide to very slowly, bit by bit, go over the incident and discuss how I felt about each piece of information before moving on to another bit.The very first day that we started she told me one thing. She held my hand very tightly and told me, "You know that you're a cop, right?" I nodded. "You had to kill a man in the line of duty. You shot him three times."I thought about it and it made sense. That explained another of the bits and pieces from my nightmares. The three loud bangs that I'd heard over and over were the three shots. When I thought about it, I was sure it fit.She asked me what I was thinking and what I saw in my mind when she told me about it. I described what.
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