She stated that she would receive many blackmail requests; most of them from perverts who would just have the fantasy of being blackmailed and try to trick her in one way or the other. Therefore, if really ready to explore the darker, more dangerous side of the fetish world, I should reconfirm my application along with a face pic on which I have a sheet of paper in my hands stating that I am a slave who wants to get blackmailed. She told me to be careful what I get myself into and to think twice before I proceed with my request, since she would be very serious with blackmail and total control. She warned me that blackmail meant submission with no way of backing out and no safeword! Once I would allow her access to most compromising information, she definitely would use it against me, even destroy my life unless I obey!!! As it would not be about financial blackmail there would be no buyout clause for me!!! If only I had listened to these warnings, I could have kept away from how this. I really do. But I don't like the funny way those pills wiggle down my throat and crawl around inside my tummy.I don't really think the maggots want me to get better. They're mean and nasty. They're back now, you know. There are more of them now then ever before. And I don't even have to dream about them. They don't say a word, but they appear to like my shit now. I just wish they'd go away and leave me alone.The people here think I'm mad. I think that's why all the walls in my room are so soft. I hate to disappoint them, since they've been so good to me while I've been here. But I'm not mad - I know it. Hell, I'm not even angry... unless it's at those hellspawn maggots. I really wish they'd let some other people see them.They've let me continue writing, you know. They say it's good for me. But for a while, they'd taken away all my best pencils. They said something strange about not wanting me playing with sharp objects. During that time when I didn't have my pencils, I had to write.
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