I have to give someone an orgasm."I guess I should have explained what I meant, but I was driven, and I would not eat or sleep until I was confident that I had a composition to give my teacher an orgasm. So, I wrote it and I got an A+ on it, and oh, did it ever feel good thinking that I must have given her an orgasm with that big A+ written on the top of the composition.After she showed me the A+ mark, she asked. "Can I keep the composition?"Of course, I was estatic when she said that, and I said. "Sure, its yours."It was a while ago now that I wrote the composition that gave my teacher an orgasm. And with no copy, I have to write it from memory. But here is what I can remember of it, just in case any of you may have to write a compostion someday that gives your English Literature teacher an orgasm."Birthday Surprise"I once slept with two girls that were best friends. The first girl was so hot she virtualy wore me out. Don't get me wrong. She was fantastic in bed, but she didn't ever. It could be…I’ve heard he was in town. I was in Allaire Studios in New York briefly while we was recording there four years back, and ended up going out to the bar with him, Ethan Johns, and a few other guys. Both nice guys, and they seemed to have a very clear idea of what they were working on. Ethan had all kinds of stories about working with Ryan Adams. I sigh. Guys like that always made it look so easy. I wonder, what would Bennie say about that? What would August? I take out my cell phone and dial. ‘Hello?’ a warm, elderly female voice answers. ‘August Cooper, please.’ The voice immediately grows even warmer. ‘Well, now, you must be Jake.’ She sounds like the way I imagine Santa Clause’s wife sounding. ‘I am.’ I try not to make it sound like a question. ‘Well, honey, I can tell you that you’re grandfather will be so glad to hear from you. He is just as proud as can be of you. He’s been telling anyone and everyone all about his grandson. You know I’ve had to chase him away from.
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