I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto my heaving chest, dividing lines around my heart, stilling my flowing stream of consciousness into a stagnant pool of sharp edged and bitter regret. My whole being became pain. I was a soul writhing in a sea of boiling agony and I screamed like a wolf that howls in mourning. I screamed like a bird that soars across the horizon. And all eyes were on me and I was dying in the pain that engulfed me and swallowed me whole. If only I could die I would be happy. Laying eyes on my son erased the pain and closed the wounds on my face and body, it breathed new life into me and assured me that our souls are real, and that our pain however intolerable is fleeting and not in vain. I was afraid to touch him as if he were made out of cotton candy and my fingers could reshape him and turn him into nothing but so much sugar from which. I was flying from New York City that morning with my partner in crime Ari. Ari is a beautiful Korean-American man who shares my every interest including my taste in Men. Though he is currently based out of Hong Kong he flew in just to help me with this project. We flew in a few days early to get our bearings. Ari is amazing at planning. He had arranged for a model for each board and he had the perfect plan. One that I was quite excited about. The models were not all boarders but they didnt need to be. They just needed to be hot. We arrived at the beach at 4am on the day of shooting, I knew it would take all morning and I wanted to make sure I got a least a couple shots at dawn. As the models trickled in. Ari had their legal paperwork to sign. There was a nondisclosure to sign and a paper that said they would do what we asked of them and everything we asked. Nothing dangerous was planned. Ari had arranged for the police to block off the area around the Pier in a 1000 foot radius. We.
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