“He’s got a great tan,” Mrs Doolan from next door mused. “The holiday did him the world of good.”“And he looks so calm and serene,” said Mrs McGuiness.“That’s because he died in his sleep.” explained Mrs Murphy, “and he doesn’t know he’s dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!”“Your glass is empty O’Flaherty, will you be having another?”“And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?” replied O’Flaherty.Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble.“Is that you Murphy?” called his wife.“Byjasis! It damned well better be!”Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding.“Are ya dead?” cried Gallagher from above.“To be sure I am,” replied Murphy.“You are such a liar Murphy that I don’t know whether to believe you or not!” called Gallagher.“That proves I’m dead,” said Murphy’s voice from the rubble below, “because if I was alive you wouldn’t be game to call me a liar!”Paddy and Shamus were. "What? That does not sound like Al, she has never had sex and has only given like one guy a blow job. She must really like you," she said. "Yeah, I guess," I replied with a slight laugh."What, do you have a big dick?" she asked with a little chuckle.I laughed a little but I was really surprised that she said that. I felt like she was hitting on me, but then I thought no way, she wouldn't because I'm her cousin. But just in case I thought I would try to see if she was hitting on me by saying something sexual back to see what her reaction was. So I said with a little stutter, "Yeah, it's pretty big, ha. But she had a great pussy."I remember thinking about how risky saying that was, she could have gotten really mad."Hmm? Big guy, yeah that's what they all say."I didn't know what to think. I was kind of mad so I said without remembering she was my cousin and not some random chick, "What?! Do you want to see it?! I bet it's bigger than any you have seen!" It just slid out of my mouth. It.
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