“My people do a lot of… bad things. Mostly to each other, but the stereotypes about thefts and kidnappings, well, they have a kernel of truth to them. They’re over-inflated by racism and ignorance, of course. There’s cultural reasons for all of it, but I don’t know if I buy them as justifications anymore. At this point it’s all mostly just tradition, and excuses to not feel guilty about awful behavior. Because of that, we have to put a lot of importance on making amends and forgiving each other. Without that, the blood feuds would never end. There are a few families who still keep to the old ways, and they’re almost gone because they keep killing each other over ancient slights, or getting in brutal fights with other cultures.”“That’s what started the Purges,” Janie said. She’d read something about that, but the details about the people committing the massacres being a violent cultural offshoot of the N’madi were glossed over in her history texts.“Yes,” Bella said sadly.“So it wasn’t. He buttoned up his blazer and straightened his tie, and he knew right away that an end to his ceaseless obsessing about how to talk and what to wear and how he would be perceived fell to the side and was no longer a priority, at least for that day. He didn’t seem so concerned with what others might think of him if he broke out into a sudden fit of dancing at the party or went up to a woman and had a conversation. It really wouldn’t be that humiliating at all. People may have a zillion thoughts in a day, and most of these thoughts are forgettable if not downright absurd—so why be a slave to what other people thought? What people thought certainly didn’t make them what they were. What he thought may happen at the party if he didn’t act perfectly no longer held sway either. Why become a slave to the fear that awaits around the corner if only to end up being trapped by always thinking about what may come next, as it’s impossible, really, to predict anything. Maybe if he danced people.
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