Had open sex become that important to us, to Peg? I didn't regret the openness within the family, and a few special others but now I was wondering where was all of this was going. I shared all those thoughts with my wife and said, "Maybe we need to slow down. I think maybe we need to keep this within the family and just a couple of special people for a while until we find some balance. I am a little sorry about you and Barry and that other guy you met, and about me with Bambi and Pam. I am asking you to skip Dawn's party for now. Maybe another time but right now I think we need to find a little balance here."That was the last said about it. Peg just dropped the subject completely.Later that night I heard her on the phone with Dawn, "I can't come to your party Dawn, John is going to be out of town going to bring Carol home." No I asked John if I could come alone and he doesn't want me to." No Carol I couldn't do that. I couldn't do it behind his back. We promised we wouldn't hide. At night I’d run about in the front lawn and play tag with the neighbors, and catch fireflies until my mother called me in, clucking at how dirty I’d gotten since morning, and sending me off to my bath. Afterwards my father would come into my bedroom and tuck me in with his big strong hands. He’d read me a story or two.. or three if I could convince him, with his deep voice cracking as he made it go high in imitation of the characters he read about. I’d always giggle madly until he’d finish, and then he’d brush my hair back and smooth the covers, kissing my forehead and telling me to sleep tight. No, I didn’t feel lucky that I had a big nice house, or that I was rich. I felt lucky because I was loved. The first real time that I remember anything being different was after I turned 5. That year was when the accident happened. I don’t remember much, the doctor’s say I probably won’t ever have those memories back.. and I’m glad. My father says that the neighboring boy had invited me down.
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