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“Anything else?” asked the officer.The monkey mimed a kiss.“They were kissing too?”The monkey nodded his head.“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, “What size please?” “Good question,” he replies, “ I’m not sure,” “Tell ya what. Right outside, there’s a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which. She put her arms around his neck and pulled his face to hers so that she could kiss him again.“Mmmm, thats nice.” His mother said as she held him tightly to her. “Now the next thing I want...”“ ... yeah?” Jason said roughly.“ ... I want your cock inside me, Jason.” Helen breathed out, blushing slightly; the need throbbing in her voice.“Fuck...” Jason groaned.“Yes, baby - that’s right.” His mother said, grinding her hips up into his. “I want you to fuck me. I want to feel that wonderful dick of yours inside me again!”Jason groaned again; horny beyond words. He shifted his body, searching for his mother’s opening. He felt the head of his cock catch at the arousal-slick entrance to her pussy, and pressed forward - sinking the first inch of his erection inside his mother.“Yes...” Helen hissed as she felt him slip inside her. “That’s it, baby - I want you all the way in me!”Jason obliged, thrusting forward and burying the remaining length inside her tight channel, hearing her gasp in.
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