. um ... feel ... um ... things that she didn't want to and she couldn't stop it and it wasn't her fault and it didn't mean that she was a slut or anything like that cause she really couldn't help it and she really really tried to stop it but she just couldn't so it really didn't mean anything? Remember?"I reached over and tickled her sides, making her squeal. "Wow! And you said all that in one breath? Yes, I remember"."Well, I understood what you said, and I even agreed with it, but it just doesn't feel that way. I still feel dirty and awful. But I figured out why and what to do about it," she said proudly as her face brightened.I hate it when these girls figure something out. It is never good news for me."See, it's because I had such a bad experience for my first time which shouldn't have even happened yet and I felt so guilty and it was just terrible and it's all I have to remember and I have nothing to compare it to and every time I remember it is just so icky and I just think. Mom scoffed at that idea. It was then that the truth came out, Erica wanted to have a child. They talked for awhile. At one point Erica said, “No, I don't want a husband. I'm happy without one.”Senior year was easy for me. I had completed my degree requirements during the fall semester. I could have graduated mid-year, but mom and dad wanted me to graduate with my class. I came home for spring break. On the first Sunday morning I expected Erica to come bouncing into my room for a morning of sex. She came into my room alright, but she wanted to talk.“I have something to ask you, but first let me tell you about what has been on my mind the past two years.”Erica went on to tell me how she wanted a baby. We talked about the effect a baby may have on her work. Erica had sensible answer for each problem I could think of. I came to the conclusion that Erica had spent a lot of time and forethought on the baby subject.When she was done talking. I said, “There are resources that you can use to.
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