I accepted that that reasoning was valid but I didn't like it. I tried to put those thoughts and images out of my head. I couldn't stand the thought of any one of them going to bed with another man. How could I have such a narrow, one side view? I was certain I couldn't ever accept the old adage of 'what's good for the goose is good for the gander', but even knowing how unfair that was to them I just couldn't stop feeling the way I did. I was fucked up and I knew it.I pulled out into traffic and then told them as solemnly as I felt, "We really need to talk. I don't know what I'm doing here. It's as if I have no control over what's happening. My biggest fear is that I'll do something stupid that will cause one of you to stop loving me. I'm just so confused. I can't even begin to imagine how the three of you are willing to share me when I know I'd go absolutely crazy if I had to share any one of you with another man. How fair is that! Talk about a chauvinistic pig, I really take the. ” Mike sits on the edge of the exam table unaware of time, lost in his thoughts about what has just happened. A light tap on the door, brings Mike back, as a small man in surgical scrubs enters the room. He has dark brown skin, slick black hair and an accent that indicates he is from India or Pakistan. He introduces himself as the Doc.’s nurse and asked that he be called simply Benny. Benny presents a paper cup with two pills and a small cup of water. Valium to calm Mike before the procedure. Benny has Mike lay down on the examining table and lifts the paper gown to inspect the surgical area. Benny is pleased that Mike has already done a through job of shaving the area and he won’t have to do that task. Benny checks with Mike to see if he has any allergies to any d**gs or fish or eggs. Then proceed to swab down the area with antiseptic. Then he has Mike get into a wheelchair and takes him down the hall. Once in the operating room Mike lies down on the table as Doc. and Benny cover him.
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