I destroyed her. Now it was time for her to do what I wanted. Jenny was an average height girl with perfect 32C boobs and a round but firm ass. She had an athletic build and long blond hair. She was dressed in a pinnie and short shorts but not for long. " Strip down" No way" You have to I won and you agreed to it." It took a long time of arguing back and forth but she finally realized that she did agree to it so she had to. Of course she took her time. First the pinne revealing a black sports bra. She kinda stopped at that. Jenny was not a whore by any means and hadn't even kissed a guy yet. I didn't care so I walked over and pants her. To my surprise she was wearing a leopard skin thong. She didn't seem like the type to do that. But there she was standing in the middle of the field in her sports bra and thong. "Keep going" I said. She replied by slowly pulling the bra over her head then quickly wrapping her arms around her chest. "Relax." She didn't seem relaxed at all. She was so. It dawned on me that I was, in effect, lying to myself about what I was doing. Either I didn’t have the courage of my convictions, or my convictions were something other than I’d thought they were.Part of the problem, in fact perhaps the entire problem, was that I was totally unsure of myself with regard to ANYTHING, except for wanting to be a doctor. That was true even about my singing, which everyone seemed to love, but which I didn’t want to do in public. Why? Perhaps if I figured out the answer to THAT question, I might understand myself better.Liz’s words came back to me again — You always run away! It’s what you do best! and Coward! — and ultimately, that did define me. I WAS a coward. Or perhaps it was better to say I lacked self-confidence and I hated confrontation. And in that realization, I wondered if I could actually do the RA job. I wanted it because of the financial advantage, but could I actually DO the job? Was I willing to step into confrontations and help resolve.
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