Ticking off things I knew! Checklists covered over other checklists making a crazy patchwork on the inside of my skull. Did I say crazy? I didn’t mean that. I’m not crazy.Am I?What had Dad said about Lambrecht’s? It came in episodes. It made you obsessive. It made it hard to think about the big picture.The big picture – something missing – genetic link – family – I’d asked about the family – Mum had it – check – I had it – check – Dan didn’t – check – Tara didn’t –check – Angie too early to tell – check – all checked? – check!No! Wait! A bit of my brain screamed at me – called me an idiot. It scribbled out that last check mark. Family! Mum’s family! There was more to Mum’s family than us!My eyes popped open again. Mum and Dad were still there – still watching me. Dan was sitting on my other side – holding my other hand. Concern was written over their faces with a big, green, felt-tipped pen.Someone should take that pen off Angie.“Nana doesn’t have it!” Mum shook her head.“What about. I had to crawl up the stairs. As I entered my room, Momma was sitting on my bed. She was dressed her pink night shift, her dark hair up in a bun. "Back already?" she said with cheerful sarcasm. She stood up. "Look at you, you're filthy," she hissed. I was silent for a moment. I'd only just gotten upstairs, I hadn't even turned on the shower. "I'm sorry Momma," I said. "You always say that but you don't mean it," Momma said. "I do mean it Momma, I always mean it," I said. Then Momma took out a tape measure and started to measure me. I don't know why she bothered. They were always the same, bust- 42D waist- 37 hips- 40 I'd barely grown an inch since I was sixteen. "It's been a month since you had the baby and you still haven't lost any weight!" Momma said. She picked up a corset, it was light pink and trimmed with black lace, and helped me into it. She laced me tightly, so tight I could barely breathe. When I looked in the mirror I felt as though the weight of my breasts would break my.
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